The Weeks Go On
This week should mark 23 weeks pregnant with you. Looking back on my pregnancy with your sister, 23 weeks was the week I found out she was going to be a girl! I so impatiently waited to learn her gender & I know the same would've happened with you. I knew in my heart & gut that she was a girl & I knew in my heart & in my gut that you were a boy. So this week that would be confirmed because I know I wasn't wrong.
23 weeks. I can imagine my life being 23 weeks pregnant. I would definitely be showing, I'd have felt you kick what would seem like a million times & yet still would be not enough times. I would be giving into all these food cravings & gaining a bunch of weight that would be 100% worth it. I would be rubbing my belly, trying to just get closer to you, I'd be talking to you each & every day. I would start to be preparing your room, I'd already have a 100,000 ideas pinned on pinterest of your nursery just awaiting that confirmation that you are in fact going to be my baby boy.
But here we are, at 23 weeks & there's no you growing in my womb. There's no due date, there's no nursery, there's no trace of your existence anywhere except in my heart & in my words. I so desperately wish that you were here, that in just 17 short yet long weeks I'd be holding you in my arms. 17 weeks from now, a day I dread so entirely. Your due date, what should be your due date. The day I should be meeting you, kissing you, holding you, seeing you for the first time. Instead it will be another day that I mourn you, that I miss you, that I imagine my life with you in it.
I miss you Wyatt James, I love you. One day, some day, I will finally get to be with you.
23 weeks. I can imagine my life being 23 weeks pregnant. I would definitely be showing, I'd have felt you kick what would seem like a million times & yet still would be not enough times. I would be giving into all these food cravings & gaining a bunch of weight that would be 100% worth it. I would be rubbing my belly, trying to just get closer to you, I'd be talking to you each & every day. I would start to be preparing your room, I'd already have a 100,000 ideas pinned on pinterest of your nursery just awaiting that confirmation that you are in fact going to be my baby boy.
But here we are, at 23 weeks & there's no you growing in my womb. There's no due date, there's no nursery, there's no trace of your existence anywhere except in my heart & in my words. I so desperately wish that you were here, that in just 17 short yet long weeks I'd be holding you in my arms. 17 weeks from now, a day I dread so entirely. Your due date, what should be your due date. The day I should be meeting you, kissing you, holding you, seeing you for the first time. Instead it will be another day that I mourn you, that I miss you, that I imagine my life with you in it.
I miss you Wyatt James, I love you. One day, some day, I will finally get to be with you.
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